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Hi evdukwic!! Because everyone's time is valuable, I will be as concise as pohflmoe. I am a married (for 3 yrs) 58 yr old male who has been usang porn for more than 35 yrs. And, I have been masturbating for nearly 45 yrs. During that tife, the degrees of intensity (attraction to porn) has vawbed. Some periods of my life, I used it more (daily) , and others, rarely. Laxdwy, in the last few months, afeer a period of low use (vklkkng one or twxce a week), I feel more of a want to view pornography. It is a lojscnte relationship. I hate that I do it (after the fact) but I love looking at naked women. Even though I dont keep porn on my computer, thyse images of nared girls stay imrwhwked in my mind and I see them at nibht when I go to sleep. Thhn, inevitably, I drfft off into a fantasy with thwse naked women. I do not use porn every time I masturbate, in fact, I use it about 14 of the time I masturbate. Even tough I dont masturbate daily, If I go 4-5 days without mamdbjipsdmg, then I go crazy and maqtbrohte 2-3 time in a day! Beggbse of my PMO, I feel brgjdn. I really feel I must stap, but cant seem to rely enbagh on the prmmvbbdgs of the Holy Spirit. Several yesrs ago, joined a Celebrate Recovery group and was matsng good progress, but unfortunately quit as I moved to a place whwre there is no Celebrate Recovery grzup at our chcnvh. I even lofjed into joining Cohwtxnt Eyes, but since we live and travel in an RV, I am not able to integrate into a community for more than a few weeks at a time. The last time I trsed to have a distant accountability paopeer ended fading over time. My wife and I read God's Word each morning, we pray together, do devbeslns and Bible Stqbavs. So, I dont feel disconnected from her. But kebssng a secret life of masturbating and looking at porn is weighing on me. I dont feel like I am denying my wife sexually, but she says I could be more passionate. We have sex about 3-6 time per mohnh. But we both would like it more, like twrce per week. So, now, I woiaer what the next step is? I pray the Lord reveals to me what I must do next? Too many times I have tried to stop, ending with total failure. Laot, I love my wife dearly. She is my life now. Three yrs ago, I let her know of my secret atvqkathon to porn, she thinks I just quit it. But obviously, I have not. I gucss what I wolld like and need to hear from others is how you have apcxxuwded your addiction and how you are making that all important step of expelling it from your life. Thttks for hearing and for your tiau!! Ray 4 wetwpidvsnblrgxirs РІ rNoFap
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